Thursday, February 24, 2011

This was a massively long session. Over 4 hours I think. I was surprised at myself for I had planned to do only about 2 hours, and do some work that night. I think Master Joe was up well into the night. We started off rather funny since he wanted to send me to a Thai massage place for a special massage…I think likes the idea of me doing tasks for him far too much J

Initially the session involved a bunch of things that Master Joe wanted that I didn’t have or didn’t want to use. Clothes generally fall under this category or anything of mine that’s a bit too personal for sessions.

We again did some breast bondage. And candles…which we’ve done quite regularly now. Not that I’m complaining! I still love them so far and could do them daily but then they’d just not be very unique or fresh.

We went over some old stuff this time – clothes pins, chopsticks, candles, bondage, rubber bands, syringes. Even though none of it was new, there was enough variety to be fun. We tried some new stuff with the chopsticks…which I think was the best part of the session. Mainly because we pushed pain levels a little bit here. I’d never actually clamped my nipples and twisted them so much…or for so long before. The rubber bands were also nice. Bondage was the same as a lot of times before – a little frustrating to do but very nice when done.

The things that stick to mind for this session are the enlarged nipples…after the syringe. I was still a little worried about them, and glad when they went back to absolute normal! Clamping them after that was even more painful than normal clamping…I think the syringes are good if used for a minute or so, like we did this session.

Also the knives…were fine but not too interesting since their main point would be to draw blood and I didn’t want the kitchen knives to do that. They’ve been used for cutting up meat and such things so were a bit gross.

Bit sore at the knees today though I hardly noticed during the session. The mat helps…but might ask to stretch more often in future.

There was one time when Master Joe asked me if I wanted to reset my total of collected points. This was after I asked him what he wanted to do with them. I thought he was asking if I wanted to reset it for free. And I wasn’t sure I did because if I did reset for free, I’d never know what the punishment would have been. Turns out that he was just asking if I wanted to take my punishment now and THEN reset it… and no surprise that the punishment was the tack paddle.

Although this time he was nice and let me also use the rubber band. A mixture of both. He also gave me a choice about where and how many…but I asked him to decide instead. We ended up with 80 with the tacks on outer and 56 with the rubber band on inner thighs. This was bearable and only the blood was challenging, not the pain. Still there was some time I hesitated before doing it – it was already late and I was thinking of postponing the punishment till next time. But Master Joe must have realized this since he added that the offer of reset was only going to be valid for the day. So I took it obviously – I knew that chances were high that the number would have increased by next time so didn’t want to risk it.

After that we spent some time just chatting. I was asked to learn some German…but I’m terrible at languages so probably won’t really happen. Other than some things, we mostly talked about things relating to the sessions or tasks, which was good. I was asked to show my face – something I don’t like to do – and tried several times to lower the cam. Master Joe didn’t like that and he gave me -5 for it, but it was still better than having to show my face the whole time. At one point he threatened to make it -10 or to make me show him my ass with cheeks spread if I didn’t show him my face – he knows I hate exposing my ass even more than my face. And I’m glad he was just threatening, not really serious.

We just chatted in general after that until one point when I lowered the cam again towards the end…I thought we were done and told him so. He then told me that I was there to react, not think…sarcasm, being scolded verbally seems to turn me on a little. But it has to be justified, of course. Otherwise it would just be name calling...which isn’t fun at all. Overall I enjoyed it so much I stuck around much longer than planned.

Monday, February 21, 2011 8:33 AM (started):

This session was a short one. I was given 3 mins to get ready as usual, and noticed later that I took an extra minute. Wasn’t mentioned so I guess Master Joe didn’t mind. I was a bit worried when he mentioned my ass…it’s still a limit on the list and I thought we’d be going over old grounds again. But happily, when I reminded him that it was off limits for now, Master Joe dropped the subject. Ass play’s still mega humiliating for me and I’m not quite ready for that yet.

I’m on my periods so my cunt was also left alone as requested, which didn’t leave much choice but to return to my tits. There was one thing left on the list that we hadn’t used yet – the chopsticks. I had figured it would be the same as the pens, but this time we tried clamping the whole tits instead of just the nipples. It worked on my left one but not my right. I think the initial idea had been to use the rubber bands only on one side and snap the chopsticks against my nipples but they didn’t snap so well. Might have been interesting if they had worked…more painful but also more interesting.

We moved on to my ass next. Again I was a bit nervous what would be done to it but we stuck to just the beatings. 50 on each side. I chose the upper thigh area instead of the actual ass since I figured if I was told to beat too hard and had to sit on it, it wouldn’t be much fun. Anyway, they were easy enough to take, though towards the end it was getting painful enough that I might not have been able to keep silent much longer.

This sort of thing is easier since it’s not mentally challenging…just physically and I’m happy that this time we didn’t do anything mentally challenging – or scary as I like to call it – because I’d not been feeling too well. About a minute later, the pain at my ass had gone down to barely noticeable. I wonder what it would be like to have the whole ass stinging though…spanked till I’m crying for instance or begging…

I was then given the choice between 20 more without or 5 with the tacks. I think at this point I wanted to keep going with the ass spanking so I chose the 20, but at any other time I might have chosen the tacks. The tacks are scary when there’s a lot of blood…but a few whacks are not so bad. Especially on the ass or thighs…5 whacks on the ass is nothing but 5 whacks on the tits is a bigger thing…still not quite so scary as 40. If that makes any sense at all!

I also noticed later that I missed the part where Master Joe told me to bend over and get on with it. I did the beating facing the side instead, and since he said nothing, I didn’t even notice that I had not bent over as he wanted me to.

The tits also took some whacks from the chopsticks that day. This wasn’t so bad since I didn’t quite do the beats as hard as I could have. Maybe only 3 or 4 out of 10 whacks each were really strong ones – and it was hard to aim right and get them to land on my nipples as requested. When they did land good the few times, it was very nice pain. Sharp and not too much – kinda like the wax. Wonder how ten of those would have felt like if all had landed on the nipples…

We then went through a series of quick tit tortures. The slapping, more whacks with the chopsticks on the nipples, and the pinching…then finally the pinching between the chopsticks until they met on both sides. These were all nice pain and left my nipples nicely sore.

I think the best parts for me were the ass beatings and the nipple beating with the chopsticks and squeezing them between the sticks until the sides met on both sides. I also like how Master Joe can sometimes be sarcastic – when I asked whether it would be possible for him to change my masturbation rule form being allowed to cum within the subsequent 3 hours after our session to sometime later at night when I would be going to bed, he replied that it was possible…but not his intent and told me to go to bed earlier. That was funny but I’ve learnt that Master Joe can be mean when needed so am less tempted to push him these days. Well…I’m still tempted but I don’t do it as much. So I didn’t argue.

Later on when I emailed Master Joe my meal plan, I also attached a pic of the nice bruise the ass beating had left…I was enjoying the bruise so figured he would too. I was surprised and pleased at receiving a reply saying he liked it so much he was granting me 10 extra points for the tasks list.

Sunday, February 20, 2011 8:39 AM

The last session involved mainly tit bondage and a bit of torture. And a big humiliation at the end, when I was made to fuck myself with the spoon we used to beat my bound tits with. The session was nice for the most part. Master Joe told me he would be a little late and sent me a message telling me to practice the tit bondage while I waited, which I did.

When he came on, he allowed me to stay on the bed this time. I wasn’t sure if I was happy about that or disappointed! I was still required to don the usual collar, which was good. We discussed the task list and I was told that even a delayed journal gets me -5, reminded me of the gloves and electric cord, etc.

The best part of the session was the tit and cunt slapping. I was a bit wary of hitting too hard since they were already bound, but I could still feel the beats. The scratching with the tack paddle also worked much better than on unbound tits, but again I was trying not to draw blood so didn’t do it very hard. The beats with the tack were also okay – just five. In fact I would even say it was enjoyable…compared to the first time when I started dripping with blood…although I didn’t hit as hard as I did before. Maybe next time…

The tacks on the thighs were good. Could possibly have done more? I don’t know.

The worst part about the session was the spoon fucking. It was humiliating, and considering a few sessions ago, I couldn’t even bring myself to properly bend over, it was a big humiliation. But once I got down and did it, the act of fucking myself wasn’t so bad…and I even think it could have been a fun humiliation if I hadn’t been worried about how disgustingly unhygienic the wooden spoon in my cunt was! I’m sure the wood had tons of stuff on it…and with my periods starting at the same time, it felt even worse afterwards. Next time, I’ll make sure I have some condoms nearby to use on things like the spoon.

Yuck, even thinking about what came next makes me cringe in disgust. Master Joe wanted me to lick the spoon. I managed to lick it once and very quickly. But that wasn’t enough since I was told to then suck it…get my lips around it. So I did. I was dying to complain at this point but knew Master Joe wouldn’t like that. I did make sure that I absolutely did not touch the spoon with my tongue, though. Even when I was told to fuck my mouth with it…my tongue was not going anywhere near that thing. But I could still taste my cunt on my lips. Partly that excites me a little but mostly I’m grossed out. Or it could be I’m mostly excited and a little grossed out – I’ve not quite figured that out yet J

We ended up talking about things other than the session, which was very interesting…still talking about our sessions, tasks, etc is more fun!

Wednesday’s session

This time we played with candles. As I’ve said before, even the thought of candles gets me excited so it was easy enough to obey whatever was asked of me. The last two sessions have both been very enjoyable and not too much of a challenge regarding pain and stuff like blood and needles. They have been more focused on humiliation, especially with the panties…and I’ve discovered I’m into a little bit of basic humiliation.

This time we also had toothpicks. The first one went across my pussy lips and since I was already quite wet, it was hard to get it to stay, but managed. Two went under my thighs, and one more upwards on my pussy from below. The ones in my pussy were uncomfortable but the thighs were okay after the initial sharp pain. It took a while to get my legs fully down on the ground as requested, and after that, I didn’t even notice them. I was surprised when the next day Master Joe asked me what I thought and I checked to find some small wounds and scratches. I hadn’t expected the toothpicks to pierce the skin at all!

I’d been ordered to light the candles…which I did…in fact, I had more than one lit but we did not have much time that day and we were only able to do one. We moved from belly to cunt and tits. I was writhing in pain and even at one point grinding my legs into the ground and the picks. There is a short time right after the initial pain of the wax, where I am incredibly turned on and reactive. It’s hard to explain…but the pain of the wax makes me want to push right back for more... I was even disappointed we weren’t doing more wax. Though I like the pain of the rubber bands or flat paddle, for example, I’m hardly ever disappointed if Master Joe decides to stop! But the candles…well I could go on about how great they are for pages...

In the middle of this, I was told to suck my clit out with a syringe. I tried it and it worked well as a teasing device cause I couldn’t actually touch my clit after that, but could still play with the syringe. We then continued waxing after until the candle was done. This was followed by scraping the wax off, which was also good this time. Especially on the stomach where a large amount of wax had accumulated and the skin was a little tender. Scratching with the toothpicks on the sensitive skin was more fun than on normal skin.

We ended with a little of the rubber bands, which was also nice – even though the ones on the clit hurt when doing it, the after pain was good. And again, we had a discussion about the session afterwards, which is much appreciated since I know it’s usually late when we finish.

I was allowed to cum after this session. That was nice, and my cunt was still a bit store and tender after the wax and the rubber bands so rubbing it and playing with it felt good…with just the right amount of pain. I came soon after the session, and again later at night before sleep.

I met Master Joe again online before work. Unfortunately it was too early and I was a bit slow because I forgot to mention my bra and panties when asked what I would be wearing to work. Usually I don’t forget, and he was strict about it, making me go to work without underwear. I was glad to be allowed to tape my breasts because I didn’t want anyone to notice I was without a bra. I only used one layer of tape to hide my nipples, and they worked well enough though I had to check on them once in a while during work. Not a very pleasant experience since it was punishment for insufficient answers, but it’ll definitely remind me to think twice before answering any questions he asks!

Thursday, February 17th, 2011 6:30 AM

Tuesday’s session was a very enjoyable session for me. What was especially excellent, apart from the session, was that we did a bit of after session talk regarding the session. That worked very well for me, and I hope we continue it in future especially during harder sessions.

We did some tease and denial and Master Joe was very good at getting me hot and stopping me…building up the excitement. I had assumed I’d be naked so when I got home, didn’t even bother putting on any underwear. But our session involved panties…very much so.

I was already a little wet – the expectation and the kneeling, orders, usually does that to me at the beginning of a session. There was a small wet patch on the panties, which I was hoping Master Joe wouldn’t notice. Anyway, we quickly moved beyond a small patch when I was told to play with my pussy…though only with my flat hand. As I did this, I was very tempted to move my fingers and play better – but Master Joe noticed immediately and stopped that.

In between, I was often told to show my pussy to Master Joe…somehow that would usually get me all embarrassed but at the time, it got me excited. Just having to ‘present’ when ordered...

I finally got some little relief when I was told to pull up my panties into my slit and move it left to right. I was practically humping the panties by now! And when I was allowed to touch my cunt within my panties, I couldn’t help trying to slip a finger into my cunt…but again Master Joe either noticed, or guessed (!) and I was told to just use my flat hand.

Then I was allowed to take off my panties…and I was a bit relieved before I realized what was coming next – gagging myself with my panties…which were already wet at the crotch. Yuck! I hesitated here since the thought of it was absolutely ick. But eventually, after folding the panties in a way that the wet part would not touch my tongue, I managed.

The stopping and the starting got me VERY hot…as we next moved to stimulating my clit. Again with restrictions that meant I could not go as fast or as good as I liked – which unfortunately got me even hotter...

By the end, I was drooling cause the panties in my mouth were wet through, and couldn’t stop touching myself. One of the best parts was when I was told to kneel all the way with my head down to the floor and play with myself. Even the thought of that now gets me hot and I wouldn’t have thought I’d normally enjoy that!

The fact that I was told stop and I was so hot that I kept playing with my cunt until Master Joe again told me to stop touching myself… having to stop even when I really wanted to go on…got me even hotter. The best and the worst part of teasing is that once started, and wet, if I get told to stop, I get even hotter – I want to keep going, and knowing that I can’t excites me even more!

But though I was allowed to keep going until I could cum, the thought of the camera and just cumming for someone…letting go and being in the throes of an orgasm…well that was something I couldn’t bring myself to do. So even though I was allowed to, I chose not to…kinda hoping I could after the session. But was refused…I guess I deserved that since I’d been given the chance to cum during the session already.

We then did some clothespins…and getting them on was not so bad…getting them off…especially knowing I HAD to do it as soon as Master Joe told me too instead of taking my time…while playing with my pussy…that got me the feeling of being out of control properly, as if I wasn’t doing this to myself and it was brilliant. Though of course I was grunting in pain when I took them off!

I was also made to put on my panties that came from my mouth and were dripping – literally dripping – with my drool. Disgusting! Thankfully, after having put them on after a longgggg think, I was immediately allowed to take them off. Though doing it was yucky beyond description, now that it’s over, I quite like the thought of having made to do it…

After the session, though I was absolutely utterly dying to cum, I put away the computer and went to get dinner…did some work and forced myself to stay clean and PG 13 when surfing the net later at night! The next morning, I was not so good.

Note

Master Joe and I had a little discussion about how the sessions were going. Master Joe felt I wasn't doing a good job of just complying without discussion. He had a point and I agreed to work on this. For my part, I felt I was pushed too hard too fast in the last session. Master Joe is generally good with going slow and not spooking me too fast.

Sunday, February 13, 2011 7:45 PM

The last session, I was punished for failing to address Master Joe properly, cumming extra, and for allowing the sign to fade.

A total of 200 swats with the tacks. This was a massive move up from the number of swats I’d been previously used to. The thought of 200 swats itself was scarier than the actual event. I realized that it wasn’t as bad as I’d thought in the end, the pain was surprisingly good…the blood was awful. What got to me the most was when the spots started to bleed, and I still had to keep swatting. I found that very hard to do.

We moved on to needles next. Blood and needles are both scary for me and I was really surprised they were used one after the other. I was tempted to use yellow already here, but I try to avoid safe words if possible so I asked Master Joe to consider using needles in our next session instead. It was impossibly hard to let go of the rubber band, knowing the needle would pierce the skin and not knowing how much of it would pierce the skin. I finally managed but things like blood and needles are mentally exhausting so to follow that with the chili lotion just made me tired and unresponsive. I was happy when finally told I could stop, and immediately went to wash off my pussy.

I’d been told the session would end in 10 minutes and it had been over that time already. So when I returned, I naturally thought we were done. Instead of aftercare, Master Joe informed me that he had not been able to cum yet, and so wanted me to play with my pussy until he did.

That was the point where I refused, and when I did, I was dismissed without further conversation. After having beaten myself on several bleeding spots, and used the needle, plus the lotion, this sort of dismissal was really very disappointing and made me question the effort I put in to these sessions.

Regarding using safe words:

If I use them so easily, what’s the point? The sessions would be in my control then.