We had a pretty different session today than normal. I sort of started out a little frustrated. The sessions had been going well, but I wasn’t really getting the whole Master/slave vibe from Master Joe. It seemed like he wanted a slut, not a sub (yes, there is a difference), and perhaps he still does. But it is nice to know he’s making an effort to give me what I need.
I was a bit bratty when we started off…I wanted to see where it would lead. And I guess I let my frustration show a little. Ended up practically asking for punishment. At one point Master Joe said that it would be nice if I just obeyed instead of debating things or ignoring them – I probably need a stronger incentive to do so. Being punished for disobedience with something I absolutely hate…or at least, don’t enjoy would make me think twice.
Having the belt on helped. I like doing that, but I don’t know if Master Joe does, because if he did, I guess he’d have made me wear it for every session. Also, being naked really helps get me in the right mood. Being in position…and kept in position was extremely hot. One thing that made me squirm was when Master Joe said that the only thing I was allowed to do was breathe and answer his questions. In my mind that is how a sub should be in front of her Master.
There were two instances when I literally dripped – just one drop each – during this session but I didn’t want to show it on cam. I guess if he’d been here, I could not have hidden that so I’m glad the cam gives some privacy. Once was when I was being forced to beat my ass as punishment – I hated doing it but it still made me wet being forced to do it. It was right when Master Joe was examining the sign, and I was hoping he wouldn’t notice – that would have been embarrassing – and he didn’t. He didn’t punish me for missing out the link on the sign. I was a bit disappointed! What was especially hot (and embarrassing) was being made to repeat that I would respect my Dom from now on.
This time, I didn’t really hit as hard as I could have or even as hard as I wanted to, because I have a very friendly foreign family living right below me, and the walls are as thin as paper. I didn’t want them to hear more than I could help. It was good to know that my answer of multiplying 21 by 1 was not accepted, but instead was considered a failing and I was punished by being given 5 instead of 3. That was very hot, as was beating the thighs.
Kneeling and being on display also turned me on. It made me very uncomfortable but the whole time I was dripping wet. Being uncomfortable, and being forced makes me more excited. As long as it stays within my hard limits. This was the second time I dripped – literally. My arms were aching by the end, but I didn’t want to complain in case Master Joe – who sometimes is a little soft in these things – would have let me put my arms down…I was really enjoying the experience despite the aching arms.
I’m not sure about the idea of enlarging my nipples with the syringes. I don’t want any permanent changes to my body. Perhaps we can talk about this. It would work as a punishment I suppose.
The hanger, though initially scary was not half as bad as I thought it would be. When it fell, I was expecting pain, but there was hardly any. Still the anticipation of pain was nice.
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